Posted by: Lawrence D. Elliott | September 18, 2011

Melting Away in the Land of Hessen

"I'm melting!"

"I'm melting!"


I walked by the mirror on my way to the bathroom when I caught a glimpse of my half-naked body. After dealing with nausea and diarrhea—brought on by a nasty virus—it was the first time in almost two days that I didn’t have make a panic-stricken dash to the can. In fact, it was only the night before when I was faced with the horrendous decision of either guarding the front door or the back. I was not successful with either and it made for a long messy night.

But eventually my stomach settled and my still-frequent visits to the john had slowed to a less frenetic pace. I had time to fully appreciate the sight of my torso.  To say I was shocked at what I saw would be an understatement. I saw a body I hadn’t seen in many years. A welcome stranger, if you will. My belly had flattened considerably and I could actually see the contours of my ribs. It made me think—

Ribs…mmm…I could go for a full rack right now!

Could anyone blame me? For the entire period more substance had left my body—seemingly out of every orifice—than I had taken in. I was in need of a good meal, if for no other reason than to have something solid to expel.

I continued to the bathroom. I decided to hop on the scales. When the final number popped up, I learned I had lost 2 kg—or 4.6 pound for my American readers—in the last day and a half.


Then, I decided to do some calculation. I wanted to know how much weight I had lost since my last medical check-up, which was March of this year.

I opened one of the shipping boxes at the bottom of my wardrobe. I pulled out the large manila envelopes contained inside until I came to the one marked “Medical.” I carefully opened it and flipped through the papers until I came to the notes of my last physical, date March 11, 2011.

Oh my God!

Including the 4.6 pounds I had just melted away, I had lost a total of 30 pounds!

Since I had been in the land of Hessen, I was aware my clothes were starting to fit loser. After the shock of seeing my recent weight loss, I decided to try on my two custom-fitted suits I had bought in LA a few years ago. They weren’t too tight when I arrived, but I always feared I would gain weight and they would no longer fit. Buying similar suits here in Germany would be an expense I couldn’t afford at the moment.

But I discovered just the opposite had happened.

When I put on the black suit, it looked like a part of me had disappeared. It was a straight-button suit but with some slight adjustments, I could fold it over and it could become a double-breasted suit quite comfortably. The same could be said for my dark green suit and dark sport coat. With my fiftieth birthday approaching, I was finding my body was thinning faster than my hair. Thank God for that!

I could also feel my energy was getting better. I guess living on the third floor of a building with no elevator does wonders for your stamina. Well, at least I’ll be in better shape to blow out all of those candles.


  1. Good for you my commie friend. I’m happy you have found the life I think you were always looking for. Miss our lively conversations, but I hope one day we will continue where we left off. BTW, Chargers are doing good this year,,,,,

    • Commie??!! And the Chargers are in the cellar. Time for a new coach and GM. Bye-bye AJ!

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